⚡️ Spring is here

Spring is here.

A new season of hope & desires for this next year cycle –

Though not fully bloomed.

But this spring also brings unknown grief;

Hazy and foggy grieving,

Brought upon by winds of impending change and forgotten memories from afar,

Of what is being burnt and cleared out of the cellular depths of the unconscious.

There are periods throughout the calendar year where I experience 'seasonal' flow.

Since I stopped full-time 'forever' employment in mid-2019, I've noticed that from April to about June, is kind of like hanging out in The Void / the 'Womb'. I identify this as my personal Winter.

Around August/September is akin to my Summer period, when I have tons of work and social stuff in my schedule. It's also when money flows in the most during this time, and this lasts slightly after the lunar new year celebrations in the following calendar year.

This year, I started tracking the seasons as they come, for the spaciousness to then hopefully 'plan' ahead in terms of energy management, especially as a free agent in the material world of earned income.

Winter is for major Rest, recuperation, reflection and huge time with self where I indulge on my favourite 'waste-of-time' (an endearing term for mindless activity – something I learnt from YOUnique Research purposepapers by Monique Suttorp).

Summer is the time for 'Chaos' and creation. I have more capacity to be more social during this period.

I'm taking extra notes for Spring and Autumn this cycle because I was never conscious to what those seasons bring in the past cycles. This year is actually quite significant in terms of closing out many old chapters from the past 7 to 10 years. So it really does feel like my first Spring, in this journey. Well, considering I'm up the 6/2 Roof (Human Design).

P.S. Inner Seasons can also be used for menstruating cycles because of the bodily changes. Details can be read in the book called "Period Power" by Maisie Hill. Personally, I can't really relate "seasons" to such a quick pattern (month-to-month) so I don't use it for this purpose.

"The Trees" by Philip Larkin

[The Collected Poems, 1993]

The trees are coming into leaf
Like something almost being said;
The recent buds relax and spread,
Their greenness is a kind of grief.

Is it that they are born again
And we grow old? No, they die too,
Their yearly trick of looking new
Is written down in rings of grain.

Yet still the unresting castles thresh
In fullgrown thickness every May.
Last year is dead, they seem to say,
Begin afresh, afresh, afresh.

"Spring" by Mary Oliver

[New and Selected Poems, 1992]

Somewhere
a black bear
has just risen from sleep
and is staring

down the mountain.
All night
in the brisk and shallow restlessness
of early spring

I think of her,
her four black fists
flicking the gravel,
her tongue

like a red fire
touching the grass,
the cold water.
There is only one question:

how to love this world.
I think of her
rising
like a black and leafy ledge

to sharpen her claws against
the silence
of the trees.
Whatever else

my life is
with its poems
and its music
and its glass cities,

it is also this dazzling darkness
coming
down the mountain,
breathing and tasting;

all day I think of her -
her white teeth,
her wordlessness,
her perfect love.